….A newsletter from the desk of Pastor Steve-Orono United Methodist Church….
So, are you “winter-weary” yet? I know plenty of folks who love the cold and snowy months of winter, but even some of those dear souls are starting to grumble a bit. Others who are definitely not fans of Old Man Winter are downright grumpy these days. With the goal of bringing a smile to your face as we continue our journey through this cold and icy passage, I present these actual “blooper” church bulletin announcements. Dare you not to smile!
- Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
- Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
- During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
- Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
- Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think it helps warm the soul too, don’t you think? Happy February-see you in church! ~Pastor Steve
“He will fill your hearts with laughter, and your lips with shouts of joy.” (Job 8:21)