~Staying Connected~

….A newsletter from the desk of Pastor Steve-Orono United Methodist Church….


February 2019


~Consider This~

     So, are you “winter-weary” yet?  I know plenty of folks who love the cold and snowy months of winter, but even some of those dear souls are starting to grumble a bit.  Others who are definitely not fans of Old Man Winter are downright grumpy these days. With the goal of bringing a smile to your face as we continue our journey through this cold and icy passage, I present these actual “blooper” church bulletin announcements.  Dare you not to smile!

  • Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  • The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
  • Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.
  • During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
  • Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
  • Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
  • The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
  • Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”. Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • Women’s Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.

     They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think it helps warm the soul too, don’t you think?  Happy February-see you in church!  ~Pastor Steve    


Sharing Scripture

“He will fill your hearts with laughter, and your lips with shouts of joy.” (Job 8:21)